Well, as some many know the past few weeks have been ruff for our law enforcement officers. Seven officers lost their lives two weeks from each other; three in CA, three in PA and the one in TX. There were also two shot in GA but last I heard they were doing ok. Praise God!
I have been considering writing something, for my blog, regarding these officers. However, I didn’t know if I wanted to try to do a memorial posting, a thoughts and feelings from a police wife point of view, or just leave it alone. I did know that I first had to deal with the emotions these killings and shootings were causing.
Today I have decided to write from the standpoint of a police wife.
Outside of when one of our own was killed several years ago, and two more severely shot since then, I’ve never really gotten extremely upset over my husband’s job. I have been a police wife for 15 years and I vowed 16 years ago, when DH first went into police work, while we were dating, that I would not spend my life worrying about him. Don’t get me wrong, I do worry, I just don’t let it consume me. Instead, I let God watch over and protect him. I have to say that God has done a fabulous job doing so. There have been a number of times when DH should have been at work but wasn’t, or could have been on the call where an incident took place but was on another run.
- Had he not been on another run he would have been on the scene where the officer was killed several years ago. I think this was the hardest situation to deal with because you are saddened by the death of the officer while thankful that your husband came home safe and part of you feels guilty for having those feelings while another wife deals with never being able to see hers again.
- I had met one of the officers that had been severely shot so that made it difficult in and of itself, this time I knew a face. I am happy to report he has completely recovered and has been back on the road for some time now.
- I do not know the most recent officer, but it was still hard to hear about. No one knew if he would even make it, amazingly he lived through the ordeal but thanks to where the bullet hit him, the rest of his life will be difficult.
When DH became a detective almost two years ago, I felt some relief after all he was no longer working in one of the most dangerous areas of town and two he would not be out on the streets every night. Not that there still aren’t dangers because they come with the territory of being in law enforcement no matter what position you hold.
What makes the most recent incidents different, it’s not like they are even in my state? Well, it’s hard to explain. First, the same thing happened in three states two weeks apart costing seven officers their lives and seven families loved ones. Those men were sons, husbands, and fathers. Second, I can’t imagine having to explain to my girls that daddy won’t be coming home ever again and all because someone decided their life wasn’t worth anything and tried to or even took it from him? Third, how as a wife do I live the rest of my life without my best friend should something like this happen to him? Lastly and most upsetting is the question of WHY? Why did these horrible incidents take place? Of course, we will never know the answer as to why, only God knows that. The media has come up with a reason but to me it’s just a pathetic excuse. So times are hard, what makes that a good enough reason to try to and to take a person’s life? In my opinion it doesn’t! It’s just a pathetic excuse, nothing more. I’m sure my saying that may sound very judgmental and I apologize for that. I’m trying really hard not to be but I will be the first to say it’s hard.
As I tried to find a way to settle my heart and emotions over these tragedies, I decided to turn to the bible and search for passages relating to Gods protection and here’s what I found:
Deuteronomy 33:27: The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms. He will drive out your enemy before you, saying, 'Destroy him!'
Job 11:18-19: You will be secure, because there is hope; you will look about you and take your rest in safety. You will lie down, with no one to make you afraid, and many will court your favor.
Psalm 9:9: The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.
Psalm 32:7: You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.
Psalm 52:8-9: But I am like an olive tree flourishing in the house of God; I trust in God's unfailing love for ever and ever. I will praise you forever for what you have done; in your name I will hope, for your name is good. I will praise you in the presence of your saints.
Psalm 91:1-2: He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."
Psalm 91:9-12: If you make the Most High your dwelling-- even the Lord, who is my refuge-- then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent. For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
Proverbs 14:26: He who fears the Lord has a secure fortress, and for his children it will be a refuge.
Hebrews 6:18: God did this so that, by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled to take hold of the hope offered to us may be greatly encouraged.
Sitting down, reading, and writing these verses helped bring peace to my heart. Did it erase the concerns, no. Did it erase the feelings I have towards the individuals that took these lives, no. But, I’m not so angry that I’m finding myself being judgmental. I don’t like these individuals, but I know that God will make them pay for their actions one day. Instead, I will continue to pray not only for protection over of my husband but also all law enforcement officers everywhere and for our world! Will you help me?
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